I’ve been feeling increasingly restless. There has been this ever-pervading presence within my thoughts that I need something. I’m missing something. I am needing something, but it’s not like water or food, it’s something deeper.
Maybe something is missing from me?
Kind of like the French: they don’t say ‘I miss you’ they say ‘Tu me manques’, translated to be ‘you are missing from me’ or ‘I am lacking you’. This is about the time I put the tea on as I already know this feeling appears when I’m about to break down or break through. I find breakdowns and breakthroughs to be teachers, they are guides leading me to the same place of self-understanding of what it is that is missing from me or that I must find within myself.
It leads to the great remembering.
For now, I am restless. I need something, but I cannot yet discern what it is.
Being an Active Participant
The current state of the COVID-19 pandemic has shifted the normal course of daily life for almost everyone I know. How does one even show up and live intentionally when leaving the house is not an option or now one is juggling additional duties, such as being the teacher too for children at home? When one is deemed essential and must show up to serve the public, how does one still live intentionally and actively participate in their own lives?
Add in the state of society in general and the growing anxiety, fear, stress, and overwhelm that we are collectively feeling seems to threaten the very boundaries of our own well-being even outside of the threats that have caused it to begin with. It’s like a spiral that is out of control, a runaway roller coaster unfolding as our everyday reality and we find ourselves restless.
On the verge of a breakdown.
Or maybe it’s a breakthrough?
A Return to The Divine Within
Witches are healers, we heal ourselves first and then we heal others. My own teacher has made this an imperative part of her teaching and the wisdom is solid. To go out, we must first go in. It falls in step with the first rule of practicing witchcraft, knowing ourselves.
We must know what we need, what we want, and then how to be the guides for others along their journey to heal.
It’s the putting on of our own face masks during this pandemic so we can show or give others a face mask too. COVID-19 has certainly been an inspiration for my own restlessness. It has also been a reminder from the Universe that I hold the power within: because I am made of the same stardust, the stardust she created me with.
The stardust she created you with, too.
It’s a wide perspective and returning to the divine within is our greatest source of power for change, healing, showing up, and living from a place of intention when we’re ready to step off that runaway roller coaster leading to breakdown. It’s our breakthrough. And it’s coming whether we choose to ride that roller coaster to breakdown town or not.
The Great Remembering of Tools and Remedies
The Goddess always reminds me that the best tool I have in my arsenal is myself and my awareness. My mind and my body. Fear, anxiety, anger, and the general discomfort of restlessness are all emotions that trigger a physiological response in our bodies. This is the body’s method of making us hyper aware of impending danger around us and releasing hormones into our bodies to allow us additional resources to fight or flee. When that response is triggered over and over, or if we live in that state of response as a constant way of being, the impact to both the body and the mind is detrimental.
It’s our internal warning system that change is necessary.
It’s important to note that emotions are neither bad nor good, they just are. They do impact our thoughts and behaviors though and this is typically the takeoff point for that roller coaster that becomes out of control if we don’t heed the internal warning.
We must remember that we are the most powerful tool that can apply the brake on that roller coaster.
Transmutation and Honoring the Divine Within
Transmutation is an effective tool for putting the brakes on that roller coaster. This is the witchery that requires awareness, our witch’s mind, to discern where we are on the track and how to engage the brakes:
B – Breathe, take 3 deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth.
R – Recognize the emotions you are currently feeling, write them down if you feel led on the left side of a piece of paper (anger, frustration, out of control, fear, worry, etc.).
A – Ask yourself what you can sense in your present surroundings: what is one thing you can see, hear, touch, taste, and feel?
K – Keep breathing
E – Explore the emotions that counteract the ones you are currently feeling (bring a state of Balance) and write them down on the right side of the piece of paper if you feel led (Calm, Peaceful, Patient, Grounded, Prepared, Content, etc.).
S – Signs or Shift – Choose 3 emotions that you listed on the right side of your paper that would counteract (shift into balance) what you’re currently feeling and be on the lookout for signs, for how they appear in your life today. Ask the Universe for it, a simple intentional affirmation or thought, for example “I will be in awareness of the times I experience calmness, bliss, and gratitude today”. Repeat your affirmation as you need to.
To add a layer of power to the rate in which the brakes are applied to the roller coaster, I usually tear the paper in half and keep the side with the balancing emotions in my pocket for the day. The other half with what I’m feeling that is not serving me well, I tear into small pieces and set aflame as a way to release them from me (please make sure that proper fire safety and proper disposal techniques are utilized!).
Remedy of Honoring the Divine Within
In the face of events outside of our immediate control, it can be easy to lose sight of the ways in which we must take care of ourselves in order to help others. For some of us, throwing ourselves into helping others is the only distraction we have from our own inner dialogue of just how powerless we feel in times like this.
There is also power in how we honor the Universe and her stardust by honoring the stardust or divine spark within that she created us from.
If you do not have a daily practice, I highly encourage it. I created a meditation to call your power back and one to get grounded and centered as well to get you started. The techniques utilized have always created the space for me to feel grounded and secure. This is honoring the self by giving it a moment of stillness and calm.
I also recommend adding space for gratitude. I have made this a habit in my personal practice to write down at least one thing I’m grateful for everyday and put it into a gratitude jar. This makes for a wonderful year end Gratitude Reflection practice, when I pull out all of my gratitude statements with dates and I can reflect on my journey through the last year.
Other ideas to add to a daily practice:
- 10 minute yoga practice to honor your mind and body.
- One card tarot or oracle card pull to reflect on and journal about what it means to you, what the symbolism represents through your own interpretation of the card, and what message the Universe might be asking you to look deeper at based on the interpretation.
- Journaling daily is honoring yourself because it is a gift of allowing the time and space to process your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and actions of the day. It’s an acknowledgement of your truth as you write it. That’s powerful as a stand-alone practice.
The Power of Choice
As my roller coaster of restless came to a halt by focusing on the tools in my arsenal, I believe in breakthroughs. By getting myself back to the basics of daily practice, my focus has shifted. I’m not missing anything, and nothing is missing from me, except maybe my perception of normal based on my life prior to the pandemic and what normal might look like once it is over. It is the before and the after. This is where my power of choice as a human, a witch, and a psychology major come into the arena.
I have the choice to decide what my life is going to look like, what I really want, and what I have learned from going through it.
I am actively participating in my choice to change my mind about what that life might look like as I take stock of what is most important to me. When everything is too much, I must be more intentional and more aware as the methodology of my own sacred healing and honoring the divine within, so I may help others do the same.
A candle (to light the way) and a key (to open the doors of our truth),
Cover Image of this Article is by Gio Bartlett via Unsplash